Biscuit Man

I sometimes eat breakfast at a little diner on Friday mornings. I like a proper southern breakfast at least once a week: bacon or sausage, couple of eggs, grits, and especially biscuits. A good biscuit is the coup de gras of a real breakfast.

I will admit that I am a little spoiled in regard to biscuits. My momma made such a breakfast every morning when I was a child. In my humble opinion, she is the world's premier biscuit chef: an artist who works in flour and shortening; the undisputed biscuit-making champion of the world. She should have her own show on the Food Channel. Maybe call it Ginger Clifton's "No Reservations" or better yet, "The Biscuit Whisperer."

A good biscuit is a thing of beauty--a culinary masterpiece. Every culture has its bread specialty, but none stack up to a properly made southern biscuit. It is an art form that does not lend itself to mass production.

Fast-food biscuits? Only in a code-red biscuit emergency. Canned biscuits? Blasphemy and abomination. I'd rather be floured and flattened with a giant rolling pin.

My preferences as to what constitutes a properly prepared biscuit has led to a new nickname at the diner--"soft, fluffy, biscuit guy."

This designation came from a simple request one Friday. I politely asked the waitress if the biscuits were "good" today. She yelled the question back to the cook, who I could see through the kitchen window. "My biscuits are always good" came the reply. I might mention that the cook was holding a very large butcher knife at the time, which she waved menacingly. Fearing for my safety, I clarified: "What I meant was, I don't want a 'hard' biscuit--I like my biscuits soft and fluffy. If they are baked too long they get hard and crusty."

I watched the cook shuffle over to the oven, hands on hips, reach in, and pluck out a biscuit.

It was good. Not as good as mama's, but pretty doggone good.

Now whenever I walk in on a Friday morning, the waitress yells back to the cook "here comes soft fluffy biscuit guy." And so far, I get what I came for.

A real southern biscuit-maker may tell you that the secret to a good biscuit is attention to baking time. Some will tell you that it's the right kind of flour, or the right amount of ingredients--especially the shortening.

My momma will tell you that the most important ingredient is "love."