Transitions

I believe the story of the Girl somehow turned on a decision and a request.

The decision was that we should bring the Girl to the U.S. to study English. After all, she had the talent, the dreams, the "smarts" necessary to succeed. She just didn't have anyone to support her in Honduras if she went to college there. Seemed like a pretty simple, straight-forward idea, right?

I should mention that this was no easy decision. We knew it would be challenging for her, as well as difficult and expensive for us. It is not easy for a Honduran to get a student visa to the States (or any visa for that matter). The whole system is designed to be expensive, difficult, and discouraging. And while we do live a few miles from a great university, the English language program for international students is pricey to say the least. Other difficulties are less obvious: she would be unable to drive (we would have to transport her everywhere); she would be unable to work (student visas only allow you to work at the school you are attending); she would struggle with the culture here in the States; and she would still face some of the same difficulties of transition and support when she returned to Honduras. But we were not frightened or discouraged by any of these things, because they can all be overcome. We had seen it happen for another girl from the same orphanage, and she had been (and is) successful in the same process. In fact, she is one of the most inspiring people I have ever met, but that girl will be the subject another time. This story is about the Girl who wanted to "fly away."

So I made a request. I wrote a letter to the Directors of the orphanage explaining the plan and the reasons behind it. I believed that it would be approved. After all, I had visited many times. They had been in my home here in the States. Quite frankly, they know us, and we know them. I believe there is mutual respect and admiration between us, even though we don't always agree with each other on every issue. And I believe that they knew that our relationship would continue regardless of their decision--that we would continue to support them whenever and however we could. On each of these points they were correct.

We got an immediate response that the request had been received and would be considered. A couple of months went by with no further response. A second inquiry produced a response letter--not from the Directors, but from a staff member who supervises the older girls. Request denied. The reason: the Girl needed to complete a final year of school available at the orphanage before such a proposal could even be considered. Otherwise it might be viewed by some of the other children as an "unmerited reward." That point I could understand. The email went on to imply that "we just didn't understand the culture--that although our intentions were good, we were in effect interfering with the Girl's progress." That contention I still struggle with. Because to my knowledge, the Girl never knew any discussions were taking place. It was presumptuous, I know, but we asked for permission to do all this without even asking her if she wanted to do it.

There are turning-points in our lives that we aren't even aware of at the time. I will always believe that this was one of those times for the Girl. She would spend another year at the orphanage. We would spend another year searching, hoping, praying for some other solution. An unexpected opportunity would come along--but something imperceptible had changed in the Girl's outlook. Maybe her boredom lead to a loss of hope. I don't know what happened. I just know something changed.

Next post: New home/Old home