Go Ahead, Make My Day

There are lots of great things about living in Alabama. We also have our share of plagues. Part of the curse of the original couple being thrown out of the Garden, I suppose.

I encountered one of the major ones yesterday.

I was doing a little Saturday afternoon grass cutting. I felt something hit me in the back, right between the shoulder blades.

My mind did not process the warning. Dang, I thought, that hurts. Something bit me.

I made another pass on the long stretch I was mowing. Something grazed my cheek. It stung a little. Felt like a rock chip or some other piece of debris had flown up from the mower. Mind still not processing the information it was receiving.

I shut off the mower at the end of the turn and got off to investigate. My two Boxers, probably thinking that an afternoon jaunt was forthcoming, came bounding up to join me.

We walked about twenty yards and I discovered the source of my problem. I had run over the entrance hole of a large yellow jacket nest. They were boiling out of the ground.

I was already too close. Since they attack en mass, I was hit five times before I even had the chance to move. My male Boxer didn't fair much better. He stood and snapped at the air a few seconds before retreating. The female ran, right away. Females tend to be more intelligent when faced with danger, choosing flight over fight, be they human or canine.

I began to swell around the stings almost immediately. I suppose multiple encounters over the years are finally taking a toll, and I can look forward to increased sensitivity in my old age. Not good news for a forester.

Grass cutting ended for the day.

I returned to the scene of the crime at dusk, when the offenders had returned to their home for their evening siesta. A little gas poured down the hole dispatched the colony to yellow jacket hell. Usually a live and let live kind of guy, I can be a nasty enemy when attacked.

I'll get back to my grass cutting later today. Maybe I'll find some other plague, a fire ant bed or a rattle snake, to do battle with.

You feeling lucky, punk?