A Country Music Song

My cousin Mike and his lovely wife Sarah came down from Nashville this weekend to visit. They were married a few months ago, so this was the first time we've had to visit since the wedding. I took Mike hunting Saturday morning, and we were all tickled that he bagged a nice ten-point buck. Sarah and Becky did some shopping and toured the Auburn campus while we were in the woods.

Saturday afternoon we sat around and visited and watched some football on T.V. Sarah told us some about her first husband, who is a fairly successful country music song writer. I don't listen to "modern" country music, so I was probably not sufficiently impressed as she listed some of the stars he writes songs for (I thought "Diamond Rio" was a jewelry store at the mall). This guy has apparently made a very nice living and won some major awards in Nashville. Mike remarked that he needed to learn to write songs so he could experience some of that wealth and recognition.

The conversation turned to this and that. Tired from hunting, Mike stretched out on the couch with his head in Sarah's lap. Somehow, we got on the subject of computers, and more specifically laptop computers. Someone remarked that they could never get on their laptop since the other person was always using it.

And then it hit me--there's your country song.

So, this is my first (and probably last) attempt at country music song writing. It's called "Why are you on my laptop, instead of on my lap?"

My nights sure seem so lonely,
I can't find much to do.
I read and watch some T.V.
But I'd rather be lovin' you.
Since you started that Facebook stuff,
I'm left to sit alone.
I haven't felt so lonely
Since I was out on my own.

Don't you want my arms around you
every night of the week?
Sitting on our couch at night
Lovin', cheek to cheek.
I got to ask you honey,
Wouldn't we both like that?
So why are you on my laptop
Instead of on my lap?

What do you find on that Internet
that's so much more than me?
Are you chatting with some other guy
Living in a fantasy?
I know you can surf most anywhere
there's so much online to see.
But that cyber stuff ain't flesh and blood
That can love you like me.

Don't you want my arms around you
every night of the week?
Sitting on our couch at night
Lovin', cheek to cheek.
I got to ask you honey
Wouldn't we both like that?
So why are you on my laptop
Instead of on my lap?

If you don't log off real soon girl
I'm headed out the door.
And we'll find ourselves both on our own
Like we were before.
You can stay in your electronic world
but you know I'll be alright,
'cause I'll find a girl that wants real love
and knows how to treat me right.

You need the real thing honey
And you know we'd both like that.
So please get off my laptop
And come and get on my lap.

Anybody know how to play the fiddle? Have your people call my people.